


The Pleasure Of A Kiss

by WakeUpSunshine



Category: Dickinson (TV)
Genre: F/F, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Inspired by Poetry, Jealousy, Love, Romance, Sexual Tension, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:29:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29009820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WakeUpSunshine/pseuds/WakeUpSunshine
Summary: Emily faces a fierce writer's block because her thoughts are... elsewhere. She tries desperately to find a solution only to realise the answer was in front of her all along---Or Emily and Sue's first kiss because why isn't there a fanfiction of that?!
Relationships: Emily Dickinson & Susan Gilbert Dickinson, Emily Dickinson/Susan Gilbert Dickinson
Comments: 32
Kudos: 380





	1. Chapter 1

Emily Dickinson couldn't remember a time in her life when she wasn't in love with Susan Gilbert. It took her brain a long time to catch up with her heart, but it did. She remembered the first time she realised her feelings weren't exactly platonic. It was a long, long time ago. But it was as vivid as yesterday morning.

_"He kissed me!"_

_Emily dragged her eyes up from the book in her lap and watched as a fifteen year old Sue ran in her direction, dodging rabbit holes in the field._

_"What? Who kissed you?"_

_A blinding smile had placed itself on Sue's face, her cheeks flushed as she finally settled across from Emily._

_"Austin! He kissed me! We were sitting by the lake and he just leaned forward and did it"_

_Emily on her part, remained stunned for only a few seconds. A striking hot pain branded itself against her heart at the idea of Sue having feelings for anyone. Let alone her own brother._

_However, the overwhelming feeling was confusion. What had possessed her to make her so furious? They had talked about boys before, even so far as to gush about their new crush of the week. But they'd never done anything with those boys._

_Until now, that is._

_Emily wanted to cry, and sob, and also scream. She wanted to do all this and more. But the hopeful look in Sue's eyes halted all that._

_She closed her book with a snap and tossed it aside, putting a smile on her face while she grabbed Sue's hand._

_"Tell me everything"_

_That's where they sat for the rest of the day, Sue rambling over her words and filling in details. Each word was like a stab through Emily's fragile heart._

That's where they found themselves nearly three years from that day. Sitting under that same tree with the same book clasped in her hands. Except this time, Sue was sitting to her left, nearly nodding off from where her head was on Emily's shoulder.

Every time they sat under this tree, that memory played like a loop through Emily's head, a broken record. She didn't understand what all the fuss was about honestly. Whenever Lavinia came home from her latest conquest, she acted like a love sick puppy on cloud nine. It would be almost embarrassing if it wasn't so frustrating.

Emily had yet to experience something like that, something so unearthly out of this world. And her poems reflected that completely. Her frustration bled into her words, the paper at her mercy. That was if she even could get the words out, she had been completely stuck the last few weeks. She couldn't string anything together. She felt like she was missing out on something that everyone else--

"Emily, you're going to hurt yourself"

Sue stirred from her spot on the grass, she nuzzled closer to Emily's shoulder while her eyes remained closed. Her voice was raspy due to her tired state.

"What?"

"I can hear you thinking from here"

"Oh" Emily turned her head and rested her cheek on the crown of Sue's head. Her senses were overloaded with the soothing smell of Sue's hair "sorry"

She got a hum in response before they drifted to silence again. A robin fluttered through the canopy overhead, tweeting a gentle song into the warm breeze.

"Do you want to head inside?" 

"No, not just yet"

A loud groan escaped from Sue's throat as she sat up, stretching her arms high over her head. Emily watched with slightly wide eyes at the sight of the muscles in Sue's arms, and the soft expanse of her smooth neck.

"Sue, can I ask you a really stupid question?"

Sue turned her head and glanced at Emily over her shoulder "what? As opposed to all your smart ones?"

Emily rolled her eyes at the jeer. She held the hardcover of her closed book to her chest, taking comfort at the feel of its weight.

"I'm messing, Em" She finally turned to face the other girl and rested her head in her hand "what is it?"

"I'm not too sure" the words rushed from Emily's mouth, her voice slightly raised "I just feel like everyone's experiencing all these things with other people and I have no idea what it feels like"

A frown crossed Sue's face as she registered her words "things? Things like what?"

"Things like" Emily gesticulated frantically "like kissing in the rain and making out behind the church, passionate wild things that I've never experienced. Making love far into the night and waking up surrounded with love and affection. What does that feel like?"

Sue opened her mouth and shut it a few times, her confusion only worsened "so, you want to have sex with someone?"

Emily felt heat creep up her cheeks, shaking her head quickly "no no, I just want to know what it feels like"

"To have sex?" Sue leaned forward as if that would offer her more clarification.

"Not necessarily, just something as simple as a kiss. It's just, the way everyone talks about it, like it's heaven on earth. And the way it's described in books, does it feel like that?"

Emily reached out and grabbed Sue's hand in both of her own, squeezing. Sue couldn't help the fond smile that grazed her lips at the sight of how intrigued Emily was with such a simple thing as kissing.

"Honestly?"

Emily nodded her head, eyes wide. 

"It's nothing like the books, it doesn't even come close"

Emily physically deflated at the words, her hopeful expression replaced with a look that very nearly resembled a pout "really?"

"I'm afraid so" She offered a small smile before standing to her feet "come on, we can walk and talk"

Emily grabbed Sue's hand and begrudgingly started their trek back to the house. Her curiosity was quickly spiking "so all those romance books we've read, none of them are accurate?"

"Well, partly" She stepped over a particularly large branch before taking Emily's hand again "I guess it's a bit exaggerated in novels. There's no blinding lightning, and your heart definitely doesn't jump out of your chest. Not from a kiss anyway"

Emily hung on every word, her bottom lip stuck between her teeth as her thoughts spiralled.

"Why did you ask, anyway?"

She shrugged half-heartedly "no reason, really. I was just thinking about that time you kissed Austin and you were so excited and happy about it. Even Hattie loves it, you know I've heard her talking about her new boyfriend, she said he has a very flexible tongue, what does that even mean?"

Sue burst out in a joyous laugh that Emily couldn't help but partake in. She swung their hands back and forth while Sue finally regained control of her breathing.

"That's disgusting" Sue shook her head, a smile still present on her face "but I never said kissing is bad, it's nice actually. Just probably not as amazing as you're expecting"

"It doesn't sound nice, at all" 

"That's because you've never kissed anyone"

"Oh" Emily turned to Sue and bumped her shoulder "why thank you for reminding me, Susan"

"I'm just saying" She held her hands up in defence "I didn't understand why everyone was doing it until I finally tried it"

Come to think of it, Emily couldn't name one person her age in Amherst that hadn't been in a relationship at one point or another. At every party or event that was held, you would be sure to find everyone making their rounds. 

"So, you enjoy it?"

"Sure" Sue shrugged her shoulders "as long as it's done right"

Emily looked forward and tried to ignore the gnawing feeling in her stomach. If the books were lying, she'd just have to find out for herself.

\---

"You'll be happy to know, I've come up with a solution for my problem" Emily smirked proudly as her legs swung in the orchard tree.

"What problem?" Sue had taken it upon herself to rest with her back against the bark of the tree and soak in the midday sun.

"My never been kissed problem"

Before Emily could say anything else, Sue had jumped to her feet and placed both her hands on Emily's arms "you kissed someone?!"

"What? No" Emily chuckled at the expression on Sue's face "I was talking to George last week and he asked me out, again"

"And you said yes?"

Emily nodded her head "yeah, I figured he wouldn't have a problem kissing me, considering he's been asking me out for months"

Sue's eyes dropped to where her hands were resting against the smooth skin of Emily's arms "but, George? Are you sure you want him to be your first kiss?"

Emily shrugged, playing with the ribbons on Sue's dress "I don't see why not, better him than someone I don't know at all"

"I suppose" Sue leaned her back against the tree and regarded Emily with a raised eyebrow "but wouldn't you rather have your first kiss with someone you're attracted to?"

Emily chuckled before shaking her head "George is attractive… ish. From certain angles…"

Sue didn't respond, only smirking further "Well he's my only option Sue! No one else is very eager to ask me out"

"You know" Sue cocked her head with a wide grin "that's probably because the last time a boy asked you out, you left a bunch of dead fish on his doorstep"

"It was a gift!"

"They were rotten!"

They both burst out laughing at the fond memory. Poor James hadn't spoken to Emily since then. 

"This is Amherst Sue, it's not like there's a line of attractive people throwing themselves at me"

A silence settled over the pair, lost in their own thoughts. 

Unbeknownst to both of them, they were geographically mislocated in the same minefield.

\---

"So, how's your writing going?"

Emily focused her attention on George as they walked through the woods in search of the local lake. It was a relatively clear day, a few clouds formed a complex mosaic overhead. 

"It's actually not going, at the moment. I've been stuck lately"

"Stuck? For words?"

Emily nodded her head, taking in the look of awe on George's face. His top hat was far too big for his head, his eyes were nearly hidden under the brim. Under his arm he carried a woven basket, every few minutes he would stumble or trip with the weight but he refused Emily every time she offered to carry it.

"Yeah, that's actually why I said yes to your date. I need your help"

George's face slacked instantly, his voice raising a few octaves "you didn't say yes because you like me?"

"Don't be silly, George" Emily linked her arm through his and led them forward down the trail "of course I like you. Just not romantically"

George released a noise close to a squeak before quickly coughing into a handkerchief "I… I know you've said that in the past but I think if you'd just get to know me, you'd fall for me"

Emily regarded him with a sceptical look "what makes you say that?"

"Well for a start" George placed his large hand over where Emily's rested on the inside of his elbow. His rough skin stuck to hers almost uncomfortably "I would never stop you from writing your poems. I think you're the best poet Amherst has ever seen"

"There's three poets in Amherst, George. And one of them died ten years ago" she deadpanned

"And you're still the best one!" George laughed to himself before straightening his blazer and puffing out his chest in a way that just made him look like an awkward six foot chicken "I would remind you everyday how beautiful you are, because you are Emily. Jesus, you are the most gorgeous woman I've ever laid eyes on"

Dark crimson tinted the taller boys cheeks as he stared at their linked hands. However, with each word he spoke, Emily seemed to recoil a little bit further.

They walked in silence for the remainder of the journey, the sound of leaves crunching under their footsteps filled the quiet. Emily could tell George wanted to say more, he was practically buzzing with whatever it was. But he kept his mouth closed and opted instead to whistle an unfamiliar tune. 

"Here we are!"

The trees cleared to expose the banks of the Amherst lake. It wasn't the largest or the grandest of lakes, but it was the best place to find privacy in a town like this. Besides, the sun reflected beautifully off its still surface. There were a few people walking on the opposite side of the bank, but at this distance you could only make out their silhouettes.

"Here, let me take your coat"

George had laid out a checkered blanket on the grass, he was now holding his hands out expectantly with a wide grin on his face.

Emily smiled her thanks and shrugged off her heavy, floor length coat. It had been snagging on the ground while they walked and she was grateful to be rid of it and to feel the cool breeze on her hot skin.

She handed the coat to the boy and sat down on the blanket with a loud groan, turning her face to stare at a few ducks that were leisurely swimming by. It was honestly really nice to be out of the house for a while, she hadn't been to the lake in a few months. She promised herself that she would come back more regularly.

When she realised that the cloud blocking the sun hadn't moved for quite some time, she opened her eyes to see just how big it was. When her eyes landed on George, who was staring slack jawed with eyes the size of saucers.

"George? What is it?" Emily moved to stand up before George seemed to snap out of his paralysed state.

"It… it's nothing. Just your clothes, they surprised me" He quickly scrambled to sit down and busied himself with pulling out plates stacked with sandwiches.

"Oh" Emily laughed, glancing down at her outfit "Do you like it? I persuaded Bettie to make it for me"

George glanced at her quickly, his shocked expression still slightly in place "well, it's a shirt and trousers"

"Yes, it is" Emily laughed at the look on his face "very perceptive of you"

"It's not bad or anything!" George rushed to defend himself, seeing the slight agitation on Emily's face "it's just different, that's all"

Emily hummed her acknowledgment as she rolled the sleeves of her white shirt past her elbows. It wasn't anything special or fancy. There were no frills or anything of the sort. It was more skin tight than how most men wore their shirts, and the trousers were just plain black. The shoes were simple black boots that she wore most days. 

"How are you finding college?" She asked, leaning back on her forearms to soak in the sun. 

"Oh it's great! I really love it. We're studying ancient artifacts at the moment" George had since relaxed and was currently pouring them both juice from a metal flask.

"Really?" Emily couldn't keep the adoration from her voice "God, I would give anything to attend one of those classes"

"You'd love it" George handed her a ceramic cup with orange juice "you're smarter than all the guys that sit in the lecture hall"

"Including you?" Emily smirked

"Especially me" 

The conversation flowed relatively easy after the awkwardness had worn off. George talked about his sister who was soon to be married and his brother who was currently living in New York, learning to be a musician. 

Emily in return told George all about the problem she'd been having as of late. Just because she didn't like George romantically didn't mean they weren't friends. In fact, besides Sue, George was nearly the only other friend Emily had. 

"So" Emily brushed the crumbs from an apple pastry off her lap, the sun had begun to set in the horizon "will you help me?"

"I'd love to!" George sat up straighter and faced Emily fully "what do you want me to do exactly?"

"Kiss me"

If Emily had been focused on George and not the loose thread on her trousers that she was determined to pull out, she would have seen how scarlet George's face turned and the breath that caught in his throat. 

She looked up after the thread had been dealt with and flashed a smile at her blushing friend "so? Will you do it?"

George nodded his head so frantically that Emily was momentarily worried he'd give himself whiplash "yes! Yes of course!"

Relief washed over Emily's body, a kind smile presented itself on her lips "thank you, George. You don't know how much I appreciate this"

"Y-yeah of course, anytime"

George awkwardly shifted forward, his knees brushing against Emily's thigh. He placed his hand on the top of her knee, his other hand coming up to tuck her hair behind her ear. 

"Are you ready?"

A quiet 'yes' was whisked away in the passing wind, her focus completely drawn to the mouth inches from hers. Emily's stomach was alive with butterflies, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

Then, George closed the distance between them, and placed his lips on hers. Emily sucked in a sudden breath at the contact, her hands coming up to steady herself on slender shoulders. 

His lips moved against hers in a pace that Emily couldn't seem to decipher. He was quick and rough one minute, and then slow and soft the next. Emily tried to lean back and take control of the pace, but each time George got too eager and ahead of himself.

Hints of stubble were tickling Emily's face in the most irritating way possible, she wanted to push the other boy away and scratch her cheek. But she waited. She wanted to feel the passion and the excitement that everyone was talking about. So she waited.

And waited. 

When George's hands started to slowly drift from her shoulders and towards her neck, and almost lower still, Emily jerked away. 

George still had his eyes closed but his lips were visibly red and swollen. She knew hers were likely the same. But that wasn't what was on her mind. Her eyes narrowed at nothing in particular while she contemplated what had just happened. 

Where were the fireworks? Where was the soaring, spark of lust? Her skin tingled yes, but in a way that made her wipe her lips with the back of her hand.

By the time George opened his eyes, Emily was on her feet and had balled her coat in her arms. 

"Wh-- are you leaving?"

"Yeah" she smiled weakly at the boy as she shrugged on her coat "thanks for the date, George. It was nice"

"But what about" George jumped to his feet, nearly tripping himself in the process "what about the kiss? How was it?"

"Oh, bad" Emily patted his shoulder with a small smile "but thanks for trying" 

There was a look of defeat on the young man's face, his eyes cast downward before he looked back up with a smile "we just need another date, how about next week?"

Emily took a step back and slowly started to walk backwards towards the trail "I don't think so, George. But thanks again"

She got about twenty feet away when she heard a distance response "Just you wait, Emily! You'll see! I'm the perfect man for you!"

\---

Emily returned home just as the sun was beginning to set, her head was swimming with thoughts. She didn't want to hurt George but that was quite possibly the worst experience she'd ever had with a guy. His lips were chapped but also sloppy at the same time, and his hands were so frantic as they moved across her face and neck.

Emily nearly shuddered at the thought, she fought off the urge to wipe her lips again. 

She pushed through the front door and was immediately washed with warm air that smelt so much like home. There was a distant sound of laughter coming from the front room, Emily strained to decipher the voices while she hung her coat on the coat hanger. She smoothed down her hair from the evening wind and walked into the front room.

Her eyes scanned the room and immediately drifted to the woman sitting on the end of the couch. Her brother was sitting to her left and Mrs. Dickinson across from the pair. 

"Sue, I didn't know you were here" a smile broke across her face, Emily didn't even try to stop it. Sue matched her smile but before anything could be said, her eyes drifted down Emily's form and back up again, several times. 

Her smile dropped. 

"Emily! What on earth are you wearing?!"

"Clothes, mother?" Emily gestured as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

"You went outside the house looking like that?!" Mrs Dickinson was on her feet in an instant, her voice a loud shriek.

"Actually, I went on my date dressed like this" Emily was sauntering her way towards the stairs as her voice rang through the house.

"You went on a date dressed like that?! That poor boy!"

Emily nodded her head in agreement, she made a mental note to tell George that there weren't any hard feelings tomorrow. She had just reached the top of the stairs when she heard footsteps hurriedly making their way in her direction. Sue stopped next to Emily with an uneven breath.

"How did it go?" She asked, her eyes drifting down to the expanse of Emily's neck where her shirt wasn't buttoned. 

"Horrible" she grumbled, turning the doorknob and swinging her bedroom door open "Sue, it was really bad"

At that moment, no one but Sue noticed how her own heart jumped at the news. It was selfish, she knew that. But she couldn't find it in herself to care. 

"What happened?" Sue took it upon herself to sit on the edge of the bed and look over in Emily's direction, who was now standing in front of her floor length mirror and straightening out her clothes. 

"It was just so awkward" Emily grimaced at the memory of how wet George's mouth was "it just felt like he was trying to eat my face"

Sue recoiled at the image and offered a sympathetic smile "that does sound pretty bad. Maybe you're not the only one in Amherst with no experience after all!"

"Aren't you supposed to be making me feel better?" Emily slumped down onto the bed after untucking her shirt from her trousers, she'd get dressed for bed later. If she remembered.

"I'm sorry" Sue squeezed Emily's forearm gently "I know how much you wanted it to be special"

"You were right, I was expecting too much"

Sue's heart heaved in her chest at the defeated look on Emily's face. Her hair had formed a beautiful halo around her face from where she was resting on the pillows. Sue watched from where she was leaning against the headboard. 

"We can always find someone else, you know" Sue interlocked their finger's and brought their joined hands into her lap "I heard Jane talking about a guy that just moved here from Brooklyn, he's working in the college"

"Maybe" Emily sighed and worried her lower lip in between her teeth, and Sue couldn't help but focus her eyes on the action "maybe I'm just not wired right"

"Don't be ridiculous" Sue had begun absentmindedly tracing the back of Emily's hand, trying to help ease her disappointment "it was only one kiss, everyone's first kiss is always horrible"

"Not yours" 

"Well that was because it was only a peck, you can't really mess up that"

Emily stared at her best friend, taking in her simple blue gown that accentuated her sharp collarbones and flawless skin "when did you get here, anyway?"

"Oh not long ago, an hour maybe. Your mother wasn't very pleased when she saw me"

"What?" Emily frowned "why not?"

"She thought I was here for Austin because you were out" Sue smiled but it did not reach her eyes "I don't think she would approve of us together"

"Maybe if she took her head out of her ass every once in a while, she'd see what an amazing person you are. Money isn't everything"

A bashful smile forced itself on to Sue's face. Sue didn't think she'd ever get used to the effect Emily's words had on her and her fragile heart. 

They sat in prolonged silence for a while, until the sun had disappeared and the room was plunged into darkness, save for the few candles Emily had lit on her desk and nightstand. 

Sue had moved her fingers to begin a slow caress of Emily's arm, both their minds wandering. 

"Nice shirt, by the way"

"Yeah?" Emily smirked, turning her head "you like it?"

"I do, actually" Her gaze lingered on the skin of Emily's chest, she watched her inhale and exhale with a steady rhythm.

"I don't think George was impressed" Emily laughed gently, her eyes coming to focus on Sue's wandering hands.

"Well, then George is an idiot" Emily stared at the fingers that were playing havoc with her senses, she took note of the pressure becoming firmer, Sue's trimmed nails dragged across her skin "because Emily, you look…"

Emily craned her whole neck then, looking intently at Sue's face. However, the other woman was looking anywhere but at Emily.

"I look, what?"

She watched Sue release a shallow breath, her cheeks dusted a beautiful pink. Emily got lost in the way her eyes shone in the candlelight "you look mesmerising"

Emily found her throat had become dry but she swallowed away her unexpected nerves "then why aren't you looking at me?"

In that moment, the air between the two women became palpable. It was thick and warm with electricity. When Sue's gaze finally drifted to Emily's, something snapped.

A spring that had been wound so tightly, was finally let loose. 

It was Emily who made the first move. She sat up and crawled towards Sue until their foreheads touched. Sue's eyes had turned from hazel to an almost obsidian black, flakes of gold swam in the dark void. 

Sue's hands shook considerably when they landed on either side of Emily's neck, her grip gentle but grounding. 

"Sue" Emily's voice was barely a whisper, it was a hushed secret in this private room. Her eyes were already shut, her blood sizzled in her veins. Every nerve ending in her body was shot "Kiss me, please"

With that, Sue inched forward and finally closed the distance between them.

Time didn't just stand still momentarily, it stopped altogether. Just for them. Emily's heart pounded, in her chest. Her blood was soaring deafeningly loud in her ears. If she thought she knew what butterflied felt like, then there was a zoo in her stomach at that moment. The only thing she could focus on was the soft feeling of Sue's lips, and just how _right_ this all felt. Her body craved the way Sue was invading her senses.

There was raw emotion in the way Sue's fingers curled into the hair at the back of Emily's neck, pulling them closer together. Emily peaked her eyes open momentarily, but only to make sure this wasn't a trick her imagination was playing on her. 

She half expected to jolt awake from a dream.

But she didn't.

Sue pulled her in again, claiming her mouth with an intense hunger and passion. Sue wasn't aware her hands had travelled under Emily's shirt until the other woman shuddered under her grasp. She explored the new expanse of skin with a featherlight touch. 

For the first time in her life, Emily wasn't unsure of herself. Her knees had begun to grow weak, her position was beginning to put a strain on her back. Without a second thought, she threw a leg over Sue's lap and straddled her thighs.

A strangled moan was the only confirmation that it was a welcome change of pace. The edge of Sue's tongue ran teasingly along Emily's lower lip. A choked whimper escapes from Emily's throat at the action, giving Sue access to push forward and run her tongue along Emily's. 

Spurred on by the response she was receiving, Sue moved her lips faster, her tongue exploring the sweet taste of Emily's mouth. Heat was seeping from her chest and lower into her stomach, and lower still until it was starting to become increasingly noticeable. 

Emily let out an embarrassingly loud moan when Sue's lips descended on her jaw and across to her ear. Sharp teeth pulled her earlobe into a soft bite. Emily wasn't able to control her breathing at this point, she was too busy losing herself in Sue.

"Do you like that?"

Sue's voice was a rough husk that sent a jolt of pleasure straight between her legs. It was then that Emily's attention was drawn between her legs, where a steady ache was making itself known. 

"Fuck, Sue. That feels… it feels so, fuck--"

"Shhh, I know. It's ok"

Sue moved her mouth down across the expanse of Emily's neck, her tongue teasing fire in its wake. She released her own moan at the taste of Emily's skin, she bit down gently before soothing the offended area with her tongue. She repeated this motion a few times, with different levels of pressure and suction. Emily's panting against her ear was getting her far too worked up.

Emily didn't notice when her hips had started grinding against Sue's thigh but she was desperate to keep exploring this new feeling. Sue grabbed her waist and pulled Emily's lower half against her lap with more force. The noise that Emily whispered against her neck was nothing short of sinful. She grabbed the headboard and used that as leverage to increase her pace. 

But before things could escalate further, Sue stilled Emily's grinding hips. Mild irritation flashed in Emily's eyes before she saw the soft smile on Sue's face.

"We should probably stop, and talk about things"

Emily knew she was right, but God all she wanted to do right now was see what else Sue's mouth could do. 

She nodded her head, dropping her hands from where they were balled in Sue's dress. She was struggling to get her breathing under control when she finally found the energy to speak "you said it's never like the books"

Sue gave a gentle laugh, her hands running soothing patterns up and down Emily's back under her shirt. Her skin was radiating heat under her touch.

"Well technically, that wasn't like the books at all. That was beyond anything I've ever read. Or felt"

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As promised ;)

Perhaps it would be reasonable to expect awkwardness and embarrassment after kissing your best friend so passionately. An awkward period is to be expected.

Right?

Emily and Sue faced no such obstacle. If anything, they had awoken something that refused to be quenched. They had talked long into the night and then the morning about what had transpired between the two of them. Feelings were shared and reciprocated, hushed whispers and giggles were whisked away into the night air. 

They never put a name to what they were to each other, there was attraction and love. Right now that was enough.

Emily found herself stealing glances at her best friend while she was over for tea or when they gathered with their friends for a shakespeare impromptu drama. It didn't matter who was around or what they were doing, Sue held Emily's undivided attention. 

However, this wasn't a one sided problem. Sue had to catch herself from reaching across the table to wipe a crumb from Emily's lower lip, or to tuck her silky hair behind her ear. 

But her hands…

Sue couldn't help but stare at Emily's long slender fingers, the prominent veins on the back of her hands whenever she'd refill cups of tea. Or how the muscles in her forearms flexed while she carried an abundance of books to and from her bedroom.

It was maddening, completely unladylike and reckless.

And they loved it. The thrill.

They had excused themselves from interactions with the stupidest of stories that were barely believable.

Emily had left a candle burning in her bedroom and Sue had to go an make sure nothing was burnt with her. Sue remembered she had lent Emily a scarf that belonged to her mother and she needed it back. Emily had to show Sue the newest book she had bought for her library. Sue needed advice on how to proceed with her little money. 

That wasn't the worst part.

The worst part was that their moments alone together were too far and few in between to alleviate the addicting ache that had seemed to settle into Emily's bones. 

She had no idea courtship could be so intoxicating. If she wasn't in Sue's company then she was thinking about how to go find her without arousing suspicion. When she was with Sue she was trying desperately to come up with a more believable excuse that would explain their absence. 

That's where they found themselves today, Emily had invited Sue over for dinner and her mother had wholeheartedly agreed, excited to be cooking for another person and show off her hospitality skills. Emily never understood her mother's need to please everyone around her but right now she was too busy fixing her appearance in the mirror to let her thoughts drift elsewhere. She had ordered more clothes tailored from Bettie and they arrived only this morning.

She wore a black shirt, sleeves rolled past her forearms and a few top buttons undone to show a hint of cleavage. It was tucked into black slacks that were fitted to accentuate her long legs. A leather belt was fitted through the belt loops and on her feet were black boots. She left her hair loose around her shoulders, her silky brown locks framed her face perfectly.

This of course hadn't been accidental. Sue had made it her mission to tease Emily beyond sanity the last few weeks, it was time Emily had some fun. She knew exactly what her shirt and trousers had done to Sue the first time they had shared a kiss.

She hoped the all black attire would fair the same reaction.

Emily heard distant voices coming from downstairs and she could only guess that Sue had arrived. With a final look in the mirror, she turned on her heel and walked out of the room. The corridor was washed in a soft glow from the oil lamps on the wall, the calming atmosphere did little to quell the butterflies in Emily's stomach. Each step down the stairs brought her one step closer to Sue, she couldn't wait to see where the night would take them. She steeled her nerves away and put on a mask of confidence when she finally walked into the front parlour where everyone was seated. 

Lavinia was discussing something with Sue, she was gesticulating wildly while Sue beamed a smile at the younger Dickinson. Austin and her father were sharing a newspaper, pointing and discussing some type of article while her mother was sat in a chair nursing a cup of tea. 

"It's about time" Austin looked up at Emily and jumped to his feet "I'm starving. Sue, would you like me to show you where you'll be seated?"

"I think she can walk twenty feet to the dining room without your assistance, Austin" Emily deadpanned, her eyes never leaving Sue's. She was dressed in a simple green gown that showed off her slender neck and sharp collarbones. Her hair was pulled up into a small bun, a few loose hairs framing her face. 

"Emily. Dickinson" Emily eventually moved her gaze to her mother. She was practically seething, a vein on her forehead stood out proudly "what on earth are you wearing?!"

Emily rolled her eyes dramatically before falling into the seat opposite Sue and her sister "please mom, we've discussed this already. Multiple times"

"And yet you insist on wearing men's clothes?!"

"They're not men's clothes. It's just fabric, it's just clothes"

Mrs Dickinson stood up abruptly "just clothes--"

"Oh please, mother" Mr Dickinson cut her off quickly with a stern voice "we agreed she could wear whatever she wants as long as she does it inside the house. Besides, it's not like her future husband is here"

Sue's eyes flashed to Emily's with a hint of knowing. She raised her eyebrow in response, a smirk playing on her lips. Emily watched Sue's small smile fall while her eyes shamelessly took in what Emily was wearing. Her eyes stopped at Emily's forearm's that were crossed over her chest. They dropped lower then, taking in her slightly spread legs that were clad in impossibly tight trousers. 

Emily didn't try and hide the smirk that toyed on her lips when she noticed Sue swallow thickly. 

"Well" Mrs Dickinson shook her head and clasped her hands "we'll serve the dinner then"

Everyone stood up and followed the older woman to the neatly set table. Emily quickly sat in the chair next to Sue's, much to Austin's dismay. He grumbled something unintelligible under his breath before slouching into a chair on the opposite side of the table. 

"Emily, get up" Lavinia grabbed her arm and practically pulled Emily to her feet "you know mom will throw a fit if you don't help serve the food with us"

Emily sighed dramatically but followed her sister without complaint. She knew she was right and right now she didn't feel like pushing her luck with her mother any further. 

She was handed a large bowl of mashed potatoes and a plate of steaming hot carrots. She walked with purpose back to the table, wanting to talk to Sue for as long as she could. Her back was to Emily based on the seating arrangement. Emily placed the carrots down before standing up and practically leaned over Sue's seated form. She brought her hand up to the nape of Sue's neck and smiled in satisfaction at the shiver that shot through her spine. Finally, she put the potatoes down and pretended to apologise before taking her seat. She ignored the glare Sue was sending her way, flicking lint that didn't exist off her sleeve. 

Everyone tucked into the meal with relative ease, Mrs Dickinson was still side eyeing her older daughter. However, a gentle conversation took over thanks to Lavinia and Austin. She was talking about the latest cat she was trying to feed that had showed up a few days ago. It was apparently snow white and far too skinny.

"And you plan on bringing this feral animal into the house?!"

"Mother, it is not a feral animal" Lavinia sighed quietly, her gaze drifting towards the ceiling "he's simply misunderstood…"

Emily watched her brother shake his head and her dad was too busy lighting his pipe to engage in the conversation. Emily took the time to talk to Sue but when she turned her head, she found Sue already staring at her. Her gaze was so intense that Emily was momentarily worried that something was wrong.

"Are you ok?" She asked, her hand instinctively reaching out to comfort her friend.

"Yeah, sorry" Sue shook her head with a slight laugh before looking up at Austin who had called her name. 

"Sue, how have you been lately?" Austin leaned forward with a charming smile on his face. It was obvious to everyone what he was trying to do. It's a shame he's not the Dickinson she wanted. 

Emily continued to stare at Sue for another moment before placing her hand on her thigh, giving a supportive squeeze as she engaged in conversation with Lavinia.

Sue, who was trying to listen to Austin's story about what he and George had got up to at the weekend, stiffened her spine as the heat from Emily's hand seeped through the fabric of her dress and into her skin. 

Her thoughts had been everywhere and nowhere all night and she solely blamed Emily Dickinson who looked absolutely stunning in the clothes she wore. Her skin was far too sensitive under the fabric of her dress, everytime she tried to take a steadying breath all she could smell was the sweet smell of Emily's perfume. 

And now the hand on her leg would be her undoing. Of that she was sure. She knew that her body was betraying her rationality when the heat in her stomach started to pool. Emily, who was laughing at something her sister had said, seemed none the wiser. 

Austin was still talking enthusiastically and she zoned in on the man, scooting her chair closer to the table "it was ridiculous, I of course had to explain everything and George just hid the entire time!"

Sue gave a forced laugh at the end of the story she had not listened to at all. She felt bad only for a moment before Emily readjusted her touch and began to rub her thumb in smile circles on her thigh. 

"Sue, how has your sister been getting on? I heard she was sick recently" Mr Dickinson had finally lit his pipe and left it dangling in his mouth.

"Oh, yes" Sue gave a sad smile "she is still sick actually, she wrote me a letter last week but hopefully it'll pass"

"Dreadful thing, sickness" Mrs Dickinson shook her head to herself.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Sue" Austin reached his hand across the table, offering a small smile.

Sue gave a weak nod, she definitely didn't want to get into this tonight. Definitely not with Emily's whole family present. 

"Well, should we have dessert?" Emily steered the conversation from Sue with ease. Mrs Dickinson jumped at the idea and whisked Lavinia away to help her slice up her apple pie. 

"I'm sorry about them" Emily leaned towards Sue and squeezed her knee "I didn't think they'd bring that up"

"It's ok" Sue shrugged her shoulder and grabbed Emily's hand, taking comfort in her warm skin. 

"Are you sure?" Emily ducked her head and met Sue's gaze. Her brown eyes danced in the glow from the candles. Sue swore her heart stopped momentarily.

"I'm sure" 

She rubbed the back of Emily's hand reassuringly, Emily nodded in response and sat back in her chair. Sue stared down at their joined hands, her eyes fixed on the way Emily absentmindedly caressed her thigh. It was innocent enough, she knew it wouldn't draw suspicion if anyway happened to look over the table and see their joined hands. Emily could just be comforting her friend after the previous conversation. 

Sue hated herself for coming up with an excuse for if they were caught, she hated that her sister was part of that excuse.

But god she needed to be touched.

Emily's hand had remained in the middle of her thigh for the better half of five minutes and it was taking every ounce of self control Sue possessed to not force her hand in between her legs. But with the way Emily kept running her fingers through her hair, her smooth neck on display, her gentle caresses…

Emily knew something was up with Sue. They'd known each other long enough to notice every little detail with each other. She knew something was wrong. She wanted to curse her family for bringing up Mary, why did her father think that was appropriate? She swallowed her anger and rubbed Sue's leg supportively. 

The way Sue's body shifted hadn't caught her attention at first. She simply thought Sue was getting comfortable on her chair. But when Sue inched her chair more into the table, and effectively her lower half more firmly into her hand. 

She caught on fairly fast. 

She raised her hand slightly, her fingers dancing across Sue's leg. She was rewarded with a sharp intake of breath, her suspicions had been correct. 

Emily smirked to herself internally. She wanted to look at Sue and let her know that she knew, but perhaps she could have a little fun first. She leaned back in her chair to try and get a better look at Sue's side profile. Her jaw was clenched tightly and her hand had a vice like grip on her chair. 

Emily watched with mild amusement as she glided her fingers from Sue's knee all the way up to her inner thigh and back again. Her face was clearly flushed, her breathing was starting to get laboured. 

Sue's hand still covered her own, although she was doing nothing to stop Emily's touches. Her grip was more firm but she definitely wasn't pushing Emily away. They succumbed to this game for a few more minutes before Emily came dangerously close to Sue's centre and gave her thigh an experimental squeeze. The heat from the apex of her thighs was maddening. 

Perhaps if anyone had been paying close enough attention they would have heard the gasp escape from Sue's lips, they would have noticed her stare burning into Emily's hand. 

Suddenly, Sue's grip on her hand had tightened and she forced Emily's hand higher, just high enough so she was cupping her aching cunt. Emily's eyes nearly shut at the way Sue's hips gravitated toward her hand, her legs clamping shut to keep her hand in place. Now Emily turned to finally look at Sue, she put pressure into the heel of her hand and stared at the way Sue struggled to keep her composure. 

The sound of Mrs Dickinson returning with the pie broke them from their trance, Emily begrudgingly took her hand away and watched the way Sue seemed to sag forward at the loss of contact.

"Shall we take this into the parlour?" Mrs Dickinson smiled brightly while she balanced four plates in her arms. Austin and Mr Dickinson were already taking their dessert and walking that way, Lavinia was cooing at her small tabby cat who was pawing at her dress, hoping for some pie. 

"Actually mom, I think I'm just going to head to bed" Emily stretched her arms high above her head and gave a dramatic yawn "yeah, I'm so tired"

"Already? Emily, it's not even eight o clock yet" 

"I know but I've had a long day, you know how it is mom" Emily grabbed Sue's wrist as she walked past her friend, leading her towards the stairs. 

"Why are you dragging Sue away with you?" Austin shouted from down below

Emily rolled her eyes in response, Sue giggled at her side "because she's my friend, not yours"

"Emily--"

"Goodnight!"

Sue was the one who made it to her bedroom door first, she pushed it open and practically slammed it shut behind Emily.

"What the hell was that, Emily?"

"What was what?" Emily tried and failed to hide a small snigger at the flushed look still on Sue's face.

"You know what, at dinner!"

"I was only teasing" Emily raised her hands in defence and took a step towards Sue. 

Her eyes had hardened to a fine line, her lips pursed "do you think you're funny?"

Emily wrapped her arms around Sue's waist and pushed her against the closed door "hilarious actually" she ducked her head and kissed Sue's neck. 

"Is that so?" She breathed, her hand coming up to thread through Emily's hair.

She hummed in response, her attention focusing on the task at hand. She couldn't hold back the sigh that tore past her lips as Emily nipped her earlobe, her hands fumbling with the lacing of Sue's dress, desperate to expose more skin for her lips to find. She wanted to feel more, taste more skin. Sue whimpered into Emily's hair, her lips parted.

"Be quiet" Emily whispered "someone will here you"

"Emily" Sue begged as she lapped at her pulse, her hands squeezing her waist possessively as she held her against the door.

They hadn't moved further than this, not yet, though Emily knew they were dangerously close. She could no longer ignore how heated their kisses had become, how Sue pressed against her trying to get desperately closer, trying to find that friction. 

"So responsive" Emily smirked, her hands had moved to undo Sue's bun, her brown hair fell past her shoulders. It was a sight that Emily wished she could keep forever.

"Come on, you've had your fun" Sue whimpered, her knees had gone so weak she wouldn't be surprised if she collapsed at any moment "stop teasing me"

"But I love teasing you. It's so much fun" Emily challenged, tilting her head to look at the adorable way Sue's face scrunched up in frustration. She was breathless with arousal. When Emily took her lower lip between her teeth and tugged playfully, Sue elicited a shuddering gasp. Sue's nails raked down Emily's back as she arched into her, a low moan escaped from Emily's throat at the pain that rushed through her back. She pushed her tongue greedily into Sue's mouth where she was gladly accepted.

Sue whimpered when Emily's hands dropped to her rear and squeezed her flesh experimentally. A hot flash of arousal shot down her stomach and had her muscles clenching at the intense feeling. Emily sucked on her tongue and took it in her teeth, before pressing her lips fully to Sue's again. She felt heat pool between her legs, the ache was reaching near maddening. 

Emily pressed her thigh between Sue's legs, pulling away from the kiss, because she wanted to see Sue's face as she did it. She wanted to see the look of pure want on her beautiful features. Sue gasped sharply into her mouth, and that is what did it for Emily. 

She separated their lips, a string of saliva connecting their mouths before it disappeared "are you sure about this?"

"I want you, Emily" Sue's voice was hoarse and raspy, the words tickled her ear "please, I want you"

With a final look of confirmation, Emily worked diligently and removed all the damn ribbons and strings that held Sue's gown in place. It pooled at their feet, Sue stepped over the discarded garment and took Emily's hands in hers. She blushed furiously under Emily's patient eyes, letting her friend take in the expanse of new skin before her. 

Emily on her part, felt as though her breath had been stolen from her lungs, ripped away. 

She couldn't stop her own eyes from raking over She, drinking in the sight of her as though she would disappear. The expanse of sun kissed skin gave way to soft, delicate breasts and a toned stomach, and when she reached the patch of chestnut curls at the apex of her thighs Emily felt her own grow wet with arousal. 

Emily was quickly stripped of her own clothes too, they stood their chest to chest simply sharing soft kisses before Emily pushed Sue on to her bed. They collapsed, tangled in a mess of limbs with hushed words and soft chuckles. 

The sensation of their breasts pressed together had Emily's juices nearly running down her thighs. She straddled Sue's waist with one quick movement, her centre pressed against the smooth muscles of Sue's stomach, desperate for any kind of friction. Sue buried her cheek in the soft skin of Emily's neck as the other girl ran her tongue along her earlobe, and Sue had to squeeze her eyes shut as the senses began to overload her entire being. She grasped her hands for leverage, gripping Emily's hips.

Emily lowered her mouth slowly, taking time to suck on Sue's sharp collarbone before wrapping her lips around her left nipple and sucked gently.

"Emily!"

Sue's body jerked erratically underneath her. Her hands fisted Emily's hair when her teeth bit the nub before smoothing her tongue over the offended area. Her hips arched, desperate for any type of relief but Emily took great care to make sure she avoided Sue's pussy completely. A sick part of her loved the torture she was casting on to her dear friend. 

Emily raked her nails up and down Sue's writhing body, her nails sending Sue's sensitive skin into a frenzy. She was on the verge of touching herself when Emily raised her head and took her lips in a featherlight kiss. Sue was so caught off guard at the change of pace that she almost didn't notice the hand that had slowly started to drift down her stomach.

Almost.

When Emily finally reached the folds of her womanhood, gently prying her open with her fingers, Sue couldn't help the shuddering breath that escaped her. Emily worked her hand back and forth across her sex. The flesh there was even softer than her breasts, and wonderfully slick with her arousal. She circled the hard nub between her folds with deliberately slow circles, Sue bucked her hips wildly into the hand that was offering more torture than pleasure. 

Emily lowered her hand again, her finger easing slightly in and out at her entrance with soft movements.

"Sue? Is this ok--"

"Yes!" Sue whined, grabbing Emily's wrist to force her forward "god yes!"

A strangled whine tore from Sue's throat as Emily slowly filled her with one finger. The warmth of Sue's walls throbbing around her finger nearly sent Emily over the edge, she cursed herself for getting so worked up without even being touched. 

Emily positioned her hand to massage Sue's aching clit while she added a second finger, it slipped in without and resistance. Her juices had practically dripped down Emily's wrist and she knew her bed sheets would be ruined. But she couldn't find it in herself to care. In fact, she rather liked the idea that she had caused Sue to become so undone. 

Emily wasn't at all experienced with pleasuring other women but she knew Sue was close. She gradually picked up her pace, the only sound filling the room was Sue's hoarse moans and the sounds of her fingers slipping in and out of her aching pussy. 

When Emily curled her fingers inside her lover, Sue arched her back beautifully off the bed. Emily was slacked jawed momentarily before she curled her fingers and slammed them in and out, hitting that spot that had Sue losing all self control. 

The heel of her hand hit her clit with each thrust and Emily knew Sue was at her breaking point. She surged forward and claimed her lips in a messy kiss. Sue tensed then, her moans swallowed by Emily's greedy mouth. Her hands gripped the sheets violently while her body jerked and spasmed into Emily's still moving hand. 

Emily slowed her movements but didn't pull out from her silky folds. She brought her other hand up and ever so gently brushed her fingertips along Sue's clit. The woman in question jerked at the sensation, her orgasm seemingly still rolling through her body. 

Sue's body was riddled with aftershocks, a sheen of sweat seemed to make her already smooth skin look all the more enchanting. 

Eventually, Emily gently removed her fingers from her lover, her gaze locked on the shiny juices on her fingers. Before she could question herself, she brought her hand to her mouth and sucked her digits clean. This time her eyes slipped shut, the sweet taste of Sue coursed through her body causing the dull throb between her legs to come back ten folds. 

When her eyes opened, she saw the way Sue was staring at her. Her eyes had darkened considerably and shallow breaths left her parted lips. 

Emily crawled back up Sue's body, her mouth ghosted over the shell of her ear "you taste so fucking good"

She didn't know what type of reaction that would elicit but when Sue hooked an arm around her waist and flipped their position, she didn't complain.

"How the fuck are you so good at that?" Sue breathed, her hands exploring Emily's skin. She dragged her nails up and down the expanse of her stomach, watching the muscles there jump and twitch against her touch. 

Emily's mouth dried as the curse fell so effortlessly from Sue's lips, her thoughts everywhere and nowhere at once. 

Sue leaned down slowly and took a hard nipple in her lips, she ran patterns with her tongue across the hard peak and marvelled at the way Emily's hips twisted wildly with desperation. 

Emily curled her hand into Sue's hair, her nails scratching her scalp deliciously. She focused on her other breast and was rewarded with another guttural moan from the woman writhing underneath her. Perhaps on another day she would prolong Emily's pleasure even more, as a sort of sick revenge for what she had put her through at dinner. 

But not tonight.

Sue caressed the inside of Emily's thighs, noting the heat that radiates from the apex of her thighs before she finally dragged a single finger up her aching folds. She reveled in the feeling of the slick fluid that was practically dripping from her pulsing center. Emily released a sinful moan at the feeling of Sue finally touching her where she had been dreaming of for months. 

Years if she was being honest with herself.

"Sue!" Emily breathed, her hips gravitating towards her soft touch "please--"

Sue finally took pity of the girl and pushed her fingers down firmly on her hard nub. She rubbed it in tight circles, her thoughts completely inhabited by the girl underneath her. 

When her finger dipped lower, she waited until she finally had Emily's full attention before proceeding "ok?"

Emily on her part, nodded her head rapidly, her grip on the sheets nearing painful as Sue gently pushed a finger inside her opening. Emily muffled the scream that threatened to slip from her mouth at the pleasure that seemed to roll through her body in waves, each one more powerful than the last. 

Finally when Sue pressed the palm of her hand against her clit, she lost all sense of self control. 

Sue gently pumped her finger, her palm massaging the hard nub between her legs with more pressure. She brought her other hand forward and rolled a hard nipple between her fingers, watching the way Emily arched into her touch.

She inserted another finger then, the feel of Emily's slick walls tightening around her digits was enough to make her head spin and her own arousal run fresh again. She began to pump her fingers faster, Emily's juices now coating her hand as she palmed her sensitive clit furiously.

Emily surged forward and was practically sitting in Sue's lap as she grabbed her face and brought her into a desperate kiss. She bucked wildly against Sue's hand, and when Sue curled her fingers and pumped in and out at a renewed pace, she nearly sobbed at the pleasure that was wracking through her body. 

Sue ducked her head and looked into Emily's eyes as her fingers continued to hit Emily's sweet spot repeatedly. She watched Emily's eyes slam shut as she tensed in her hold, her silky folds fluttered around Sue's digits. Her hand was thoroughly soaked as a fresh wave of juices escaped Emily's pussy. Her arms wrapped around Sue's neck as she tried to regain her breathing. She saw a blinding white light behind her eyes that she'd never seen before. 

Every single one of her senses were under the enchantment that is, Susan Gilbert. 

Sue rubbed her back in soothing circles, laying soft kisses along her cheek. 

"That was beautiful" she whispered, laying them both back into the bed. She grabbed the duvet that had been thrown to the floor and pulled it up to their chins. Sue rested her head on her hand as she stared at the lazy smile on Emily's face. 

"Maybe I'll have to tease you more often"

Sue laughed softly to herself and wrapped her arms around Emily's waist, her face tucked into the crook of Emily's neck 

"Shut up"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is WEEKS overdue but school has just been kicking my ass. Feel free to yell at me in the comments :')
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated, it makes my day :)
> 
> Come say hi on Instagram!! emmaflynn_2002

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, maybe I got a bit carried away and it's too long... But it's fine!! Part 2??...
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated, it makes my day :)
> 
> Come say hi on Instagram!! emmaflynn_2002


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